#WhiteoutWednesday: Rob Scheneider Whitesplains MLK + More

Being Black in America has taught me many things but one of its main lessons is there will always been an abundance of white foolishness. With the advent of Donald Trump’s presidency, Murica has been consumed by it. White people have been showing their asses, y’all and it isn’t just pasty white republican ass either. Liberals have been bearing their buttocks too. This will be an interesting four years and when it’s all over, Dwight Folks will want us to forget about their shenanigans. You know, kinda like how they want us to forget about that whole slavery and Jim Crow thing. Well, I refuse to let that happen and for that reason, I am attempting another blog series, #whiteoutwednesday. Every Wednesday, I will gather examples of unseasoned shenanigans because shame is an agent of change and I’m just that petty.
This week…

Rob Schenider white-splained MLK Jr. to John Lewis, a person who met and worked with MLK Jr.

Last week, Rep. John Lewis, civil rights leader and longtime congressman, said the Cheeto in Chief wasn’t a legitimate president and that he wouldn’t be attending the inauguration. Some folks weren’t happy about it including Rob Schneider who took to his Twitter page to express his thoughts.

robisdumb

It’s King Day week and y’all know white folks love their whitewashed version of Dr. King and the king of Adam Sandler movie cameos is no different. But, if you’re gonna throw King out to pacify a negro, make sure it’s one that didn’t actually know the guy.

Pictured: Not Rob Schneider

Pictured: Not Rob Schneider

Also, as someone so graciously pointed out, a guy who has done yellow face and other racist caricatures in several movies shouldn’t be lecturing anyone on racism. Oddly, Deuce Bigalow hasn’t deleted the tweet.

Blake Lively is Cherokee, y’all.

I don’t like it when Black folks claim Native American heritage all willy nilly but I understand it because of internalized anti-Blackness. But I HATE  when white people do it for novelty. Blake Lively proudly claimed her Cherokee heritage, for the second time, in a commercial for L’Oreal’s True Match makeup line. L’Oreal has done similar commercials before and they’ve drawn plenty of controversy.

Well, they clearly haven’t learned their lesson and now they got this white girl looking crazy, again. It doesn’t help that Lively has a history of tone deafness that includes getting married and curating photo shoots on plantations because she loves the “Allure of the Antebellum.”

I wasn't joking. This was on her website.

I wasn’t joking. This was on her website.

This isn’t an affront to white passing Native folk, but if you’re gonna tout diversity, don’t go Univision on us and only use people that pass the paper bag test.

 

Politician paws a pussy because fuck political correctness (trigger warning)

cat

Trump done made Dwight Folks bold, especially the mens and in addition to blatant racism, sexual assault is cool too. Christopher von Keyserling was arrested for fourth degree sexual assault after he “reached in from behind to place his hand between her legs and pinch her in the groin area” after heated debate during which he called her a “lazy, bloodsucking union employee” and told her “I love this new world, I no longer have to be politically correct.”

This, my friends, is why I intend to learn how to shoot and I’m not talking about pool.

T-shirts are the new safety pins

whitewomen

White guilt is one helluva drug. White woman have been in their feelings since they helped Trump get elected and have been making questionable decisions. After ransacking my job for safety pins and planning bogus ass marches,  Becky and nem got merch, y’all!

Here’s an explanation from the creators:

We found ourselves wanting to tell people on the street, strangers on the subway, “it wasn’t me.” When visiting the Subway Therapy Wall in NYC, Michelle added a sticky note that said, “not this white woman.” Karen and Michelle commiserated and collaborated and the idea of a T-shirt was born. 100% of the royalties received will go to Planned Parenthood.

Poor things. I would hate for someone to have preconceived notions of me just because how I look. White women have it so hard now! People are going to look at them and think they’re bad people and their feelings are gonna be so hurt! The only thing that could make it worse is if someone’s preconceived notions would affect them on an institutional level. I can only imagine what THAT would be like.

In two days, the Cheeto in Chief will be in office and I will have to start saving up for a VIP ticket for the boat back to Africa. In the meantime, I hope y’all enjoyed this post. I believe in collectivism so if y’all have any stories of white foolishness to share, send them via Facebook or Twitter. You can also leave a comment below.

Dishonorable Mentions:

Another white man white-splains Black history 

John Lewis is a “racist pig” according to Ga. politician, he apoloLIES

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