I am a college dropout.
I never thought I’d write that sentence. I’ve been ambivalent about this since I wasn’t able to re-enroll because of an error that resulted in a balance on my account. It has been about three years since I’ve stepped foot in a classroom and I’ve experienced a multitude of emotions.
I felt like a waste of potential and have turned down a few awesome opportunities because I felt like I wasn’t deserving of the attention. I’ve tried to launch independent projects but never put a significant amount of effort into them. I didn’t feel like it was worth it. I stopped blogging. I podcasted but there were times where I couldn’t be bothered to open my laptop and cancelled on my co-hosts. My activism became non-existent outside of my Facebook shenanigans. On top of all that, depression still had its hand around my neck. I made no effort to change a damn thing but still felt envious of my peers and classmate that continuously posted their happy news and accomplishments.
Towards the tail end of 2016, I got tired and slowly but surely started trying to give a damn about my life. I started planning how to fix my finances. I became more hands on with the podcast. I began thinking about this blog, a lot. When the clock struck midnight on Sunday, a sensation washed over me. I still feel it and hope I will continue to feel it. I said all that to say, as cliché as it sounds, new year, new me.
At least, I hope. I’ve made grandiose plans before and still ended up falling off and because I know myself, I’m making this declaration publicly so I can be held accountable. I don’t want to start fucking up again when new year excitement wears off. If you read this blog and catch me slacking, drag me.
I mean it.
Anywho, Happy New Year.
I look forward to making AnotA pop again.