New Year, Who Dis? Trying To Be Better…

I am a college dropout.

I never thought I’d write that sentence. I’ve been ambivalent about this since I wasn’t able to re-enroll because of an error that resulted in a balance on my account. It has been about three years since I’ve stepped foot in a classroom and I’ve experienced a multitude of emotions.
Ambivalence.
Disappointment.
Guilt.
I felt like a waste of potential and have turned down a few awesome opportunities because I felt like I wasn’t deserving of the attention. I’ve tried to launch independent projects but never put a significant amount of effort into them. I didn’t feel like it was worth it. I stopped blogging. I podcasted but there were times where I couldn’t be bothered to open my laptop and cancelled on my co-hosts. My activism became non-existent outside of my Facebook shenanigans. On top of all that, depression still had its hand around my neck. I made no effort to change a damn thing but still felt envious of my peers and classmate that continuously posted their happy news and accomplishments.
Towards the tail end of 2016, I got tired and slowly but surely started trying to give a damn about my life. I started planning how to fix my finances. I became more hands on with the podcast. I began thinking about this blog, a lot. When the clock struck midnight on Sunday, a sensation washed over me. I still feel it and hope I will continue to feel it. I said all that to say, as cliché as it sounds, new year, new me.

Obligatory AnotA Beyonce gif

Obligatory AnotA Beyonce gif

At least, I hope. I’ve made grandiose plans before and still ended up falling off and because I know myself, I’m making this declaration publicly so I can be held accountable. I don’t want to start fucking up again when new year excitement wears off. If you read this blog and catch me slacking, drag me.
I mean it.
Anywho, Happy New Year.
I look forward to making AnotA pop again.

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2 thoughts on “New Year, Who Dis? Trying To Be Better…

  1. An'Drea says:

    Sending you lots of encouragement, Ashleigh! I enjoy your writing, so I’m glad to know you’re shaking off the dust and getting started again. This year on my blog I’m posting monthly goals to hold myself accountable to readers about the stuff I want to get done. I used to do this a couple years ago on another blog and it definitely helps!

  2. feleciamonique88 says:

    Girl!! This article!! It’s so hard to get out of a rut but I dropped out too. I was pregnant and 18 smh. I finally pursued my dreams just two weeks ago and dropped outta college almost 9 years ago. Stay strong girl!! You got this!

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