Rihanna Taught Me: How to Stop Giving A F*ck (CW: NSFW Photo)

Beyonce will always be my favorite diva but there is another one that is coming after my heart: Robin Rihanna Fenty. She isn’t the best singer and her music can be extremely vapid so that definitely isn’t the source of my admiration. I live for Rihanna because of her IDGAF attitude. She lives her life regardless of what people or society deems respectable. She hasn’t made the best decisions but keeps it moving. This week, Rihanna graced the cover of French magazine Lui completely topless. As Americans across the country reached for some pearls to clutch, I did a one-woman slow clap. Apart from her looking delectable, it took steel ovaries for her to do that photoshoot, especially as a Black woman. Black female sexuality is the most scrutinized in this country thanks to slavery and other factors beyond our control. This has caused us to repress our sexuality and police others. Yes, white women have their sexuality policed but their sexuality isn’t seen as an embarrassment to anyone but themselves and perhaps, their family. The Black woman has to answer to the whole Black community when she doesn’t have an acceptable sexuality. That sexuality could be as brazen as Rihanna’s magazine cover. It can also be a minor infraction like a tight skirt or exposed midriff.

The photo seen around the world.

A Black woman’s sexual repression begins at an early age. As a child, the fear of being labeled “fast” makes us fear our body’s natural urges. If we touch ourselves, we feel a pang of guilt. If we take a liking to boys, we have to hide it because only fast girls want boyfriends. The fast girl is the urban version of the whore on the virgin-whore dichotomy. When she grows up, she becomes the hoe who is just as feared by Black women. We’re horrified when someone calls one of us a hoe and throw that term at any sista that we feel has violated the code. It’s rare to see a Black woman that truly doesn’t fear the fast girl/hoe specter and that’s why I celebrate Rihanna. She’ll pose topless on a magazine, sing about the smell of sex, wear a doobie to an awards show and claps back with a quickness if someone has something slick to say.
I’m not saying everyone should walk around with their titties flapping in the wind (unless you want to) but we should stop giving other people and society so much authority. Yes, Rihanna is a wealthy celebrity and that affords her some privileges but I think more of us could stand to adopt a smidge of her attitude. When you start to feel ashamed for ling when someone smacks your ass, pulls your hair and gives it to you, grab your headphones. If you need some listening material, I got a couple of Spotify lists you can use. If you start to feel a dip in confidence, refer to this post or just hit me up because I am here for you. Do what makes you comfortable with you. That is the takeaway from this blog post and it definitely extends beyond sexuality.

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2 thoughts on “Rihanna Taught Me: How to Stop Giving A F*ck (CW: NSFW Photo)

  1. mklashay says:

    Great post! I love Rih’s fearless attitude and confidence and I’ve learned that no matter how you live your life, people will have something negative to say. So, it’s best to just be yourself and do you!

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