Prior to getting my hair braided in October, I had been natural for three years as of May 2013. I didn’t use heat or added hair and I read the ingredients before I purchase a product. Although I had typical moments of self-doubt, I was a relatively secure person or so I thought. When I came home and I was able to get a gander at myself in my mirror, I was swinging and flipping that hair all over the place. I got compliment after compliment and I soaked it all up. As time progressed and the braids started to loosen themselves due to age, I began to worry about what I would do with my hair as if I hadn’t been doing my hair for years without added hair.
Then, I took them out and well, have a look:
They took some of my damn hair out! To say I am livid is an understatement. Thankfully, the damage wasn’t too bad and it’s very fixable but I’m still a bit peeved and I am big enough to admit that some of that pisstivity is fueled by insecurity. The brief comfort blanket that came in the form of those braids is gone and insecurity that I buried in the back of my mind three years ago has reared its ugly head.
So what do I do now? I live. I adapt.
I am taking this setback as an excuse to learn my hair and really take care of it. The braids were put in out of laziness and frustration. My ends were raggedy and I was getting scissor happy. My hair isn’t at its best but it will be. The Kraken will be unleashed again. This ordeal with my hair is showing me that it’s okay to be insecure sometimes. Although I talk a lot of shit, I’m still human. We all have our naked moments. This is a mere test and how I respond to this nakedness determines whether not I pass or fail. I could hide my edges under a hat or I could keep it cute and act like Beyonce releasing her new album was the reason my edges were snatched. The choice is mine and for my readers battling insecurity, the choice is yours.
What will you do?