On the heels of Lolo Jones, Evette Holyfield, daughter of Evander, has come out to the world as a 27-year-old virgin. In an interview with Essence Magazine, she detailed how her father encouraged her to remain a virgin til marriage at the ripe old age of 6-years-old. She also spoke about how she has maintained her virginity while dating.
Okay. I have to say it: WHY IS THIS NEWS?
I commend Miss Holyfield for sticking to her guns but I don’t get why being a virgin should be news. It would be different if these stories were diverse but it is the same story every time. Almost every time, there is some form of slut shaming as if people that are sexually active are all reckless an irresponsible. Holyfield’s story wasn’t exempt. Check it.
From Essence Magazine Online:
My sister is a virgin, and I have a couple of friends who are virgins too. Some women have said to me, “Why would anyone want to date you if you haven’t had sex?” I ask them, “Why would anyone want to date someone who has slept with the whole world?” Having sex with a man is not what’s going to set you apart. What’s going to set you apart is what’s in your head. Show a guy something different — something that will stimulate his mind, not something they see or get all the time.
Slept with the whole world? Oh.
Not to mention, the subjects of these stories are almost always female. Remember Lolo Jones? We rarely hear about male virgins and when we do, they’re usually subjected to ridicule and speculation about their sexuality.
The commentary on these articles is predictable too. Sexually active people that are offended by the article will hop in the comments section to bash virgins and go on about how no one will want a virgin because people want someone with experience. These articles don’t do a damn thing but enforce the virgin/whore dichotomy and inspire a bunch of finger pointing. Frankly, I’m sick of it. No one should be made to feel ashamed for having or not having sex.
If you want to abstain? Cool.
If you don’t? Cool. Just be responsible.
That’s where it should stop. No one should be shamed for what they do or don’t do unless someone is being harmed by their actions. I would love to see the day when society is able to have healthy discussions about sexuality without someone being made to feel ashamed of something. But, I’m not holding my breath.
What do you think? Do you like these types of stories or are you just as sick of them as I am? Leave a comment!