2 drafts. Half a page each. Article still isn’t done.
I have been trying to write an article about the Black man for at least a week and it has been one of the hardest things I’ve tried to write. There is so much I’ve wanted to say but organizing it into a coherent article has been quite the task. Hell, writing this post is hard enough. I know what has been said about my brothers, lovers, cousins, nephews and friends throughout the media. The stats about them not succeeding. The news bulletins announcing them being shot down like hunting game by wayward police officers and each other. I read the blog post complaining about no more good black men and how their all married, jailed or gay (and why is the last one even considered a negative). I see it all.
I also see a lot of them mistreating women and promoting images that mistreat women. Hell, I’ve been one of those mistreated women. I heard about D.L. Hughley. I see the slut shaming, the promotion of patriarchy and all that other malarky. I’ve had the arguments and the gender wars.
I see both sides and that’s why it’s SO hard for me to write about black men.
On one hand, I feel traitorous complaining about some of the things they do and criticizing them in a public medium. After all, they get enough of that shit from the media and society as a whole. I always ask myself, when I write critical words about them, am I adding to it? Am I doing them a disservice?
On the other side, I don’t want to be one of those women that turns a blind eye to the negativity. I want to be able to say when I’m hurt or disappointed without being accused of being a man-hater (and yes, I’ve had that happen to me). I sincerely think there is a way for me to engage my brothers without them thinking I’m taking the system’s side. I want to strike a balance. But striking that balance is really difficult when one side tells me I’m blind for praising my brothers and another tells me I am a traitor when I criticize them.
That article that I have been trying to write may or may not get finished. All I ask is that I get some understanding. Open dialogue.
Hell, I’m even willing to give the brothers a medium. Want to post something here? Tell me in the comments section and we can get something started.
What do you think? Leave a comment!