On Black Men And Why It’s Hard For Me to Write About Them

2 drafts. Half a page each. Article still isn’t done.

I have been trying to write an article about the Black man for at least a week and it has been one of the hardest things I’ve tried to write. There is so much I’ve wanted to say but organizing it into a coherent article has been quite the task. Hell, writing this post is hard enough. I know what has been said about my brothers, lovers, cousins, nephews and friends throughout  the media. The stats about them not succeeding. The news bulletins announcing them being shot down like hunting game by wayward police officers and each other. I read the blog post complaining about no more good black men and how their all married, jailed or gay (and why is the last one even considered a negative). I see it all.

I also see a lot of them mistreating women and promoting images that mistreat women. Hell, I’ve been one of those mistreated women. I heard about D.L. Hughley. I see the slut shaming, the promotion of patriarchy and all that other malarky. I’ve had the arguments and the gender wars.

I see both sides and that’s why it’s SO hard for me to write about black men.

On one hand, I feel traitorous complaining about some of the things they do and criticizing them in a public medium. After all, they get enough of that shit from the media and society as a whole. I always ask myself, when I write critical words about them, am I adding to it? Am I doing them a disservice?

On the other side, I don’t want to be one of those women that turns a blind eye to the negativity. I want to be able to say when I’m hurt or disappointed without being accused of being a man-hater (and yes, I’ve had that happen to me). I sincerely think there is a way for me to engage my brothers without them thinking I’m taking the system’s side. I want to strike a balance. But striking that balance is really difficult when one side tells me I’m blind for praising my brothers and another tells me I am a traitor when I criticize them.

That article that I have been trying to write may or may not get finished. All I ask is that I get some understanding. Open dialogue.

Hell, I’m even willing to give the brothers a medium. Want to post something here? Tell me in the comments section and we can get something started.

What do you think? Leave a comment!


7 thoughts on “On Black Men And Why It’s Hard For Me to Write About Them

  1. Jontae Grace says:

    It may help to narrow down a specific aspect of us that you wish to address. Looking at the big picture can be overwhelming with any topic. But the fact that you love us enough to want to write about us is a good feeling in and of itself 🙂

  2. Hykeem1@yahoo.com says:

    I appreciate your thoughts on finding a balance between the media description of black people and how we think of ourselves. The last sentence I want to talk to you about comes from the first paragraph quote “I read the blog post complaining about no more good black men and how their all married, jailed or gay (and why is the last one even considered a negative).”Ashliegh 2012

    I have to disagree with that, as it depends on the person age of getting married/maturity, and financial stability. Now about where are all the “good” black men around it depends on where you are looking and are the men being “good”.

    Just my personal opinion on this topic, anyway interesting post.

  3. Tomica says:

    How about you do a series of articles?? Each article can talk about the positive and the negative of each topic. Black men in relationships, father figure or lack there of, men in jobs, etc. That way you narrow it down to single topics, that way you can focus your thoughts

  4. Cliff Colston says:

    I understand that to attempt to write such an article is not easy…nor would it be if the roles were reversed…I would suggest that u revisit the “Willie Lynch”…story preferably told by Minister Louis Farrakhan(you can find it on YouTube)…I believe it WILL give u a lil more insight on what your ENEMY has in store for you

  5. Renee says:

    Hay Ash, you should do a list on your on experience on black men and then do another one on the media’s view of black men. See how that works for you.


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